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katastrophic is © Kat 2001. steal and DIE!

love me, love me

3/23/01

     Boys are a stressful bunch... the few of them that like me, I can never bring myself to like back. And they keep liking me, and I keep pushing them away... and then finally they move on and get girlfriends, or whatever, and announce that they're no longer single, and I feel let down. It's some kind of sick joke being played on me that while they like me, I want them to leave me alone, but as soon as they move on, I feel offended or something. As if they ought to continue liking me, just so I can feel better about myself.
     This is so selfish. I don't deserve to be disappointed when a guy who I'm not 'interested' in stops being interested in me, but I feel that way anyway. It's as if I've lost whatever appeal I had to them, or something, even though I didn't intend to go out with them.
     So I'm gonna work on this. Any of you boys reading this who know me are thinking I'm such an a-hole, but I can't help it. Forgive me for sounding like such a brat.