tonight

9/4/02
when I stand up, the blood leaves my head. driving down four lane roads by myself, I'm thinking about oak trees, with lots of little acorns giving up and letting go, dropping off to rattle their way down someone's roof on their way to the ground with lots of other acorns, hoping maybe they'll be the one that grows into a tree. sometimes I can see how good it would feel, the dropping off and letting go. when I stand up, the blood leaves my head. sometimes I think in french, and it scares me. I followed a french couple through a park in d.c., past a bunch of sculptures. they weren't even looking at the giant metal rabbit or the big circular fountain - they were talking about dinner. I tried to keep following them, but the art was distracting, and while they turned a corner away from me I faced the other way, not the girl who had been trailing them, not envying the attention they paid each other that could pull them right past such sculptures.