Choose your poison. Main the title page. Me all you'd ever wanna know. Writing poems, essays, stories. Art things I've drawn. Music shows, bands, good lines. You interactive inanity. Links good stuff I wish I'd made.
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Only kidding. Let's start over. Hi; I'm Kat. I'm your average all-American girl. I sing, I dance, I barely make honor roll. I multitask. I dress like "a rebel." I make webpages that are "goofy." I can't perform anything in front of anyone without making an ass of myself. I'm perfectly un-afraid of the dark. I am addicted to music. Sound at least a little bit like you? Maybe not, but that is what I'm going for. I'm like you, I promise. You might not want to admit it, Miss Thang, but deep down inside, you know you feel it too.
I don't know what you want me to say here. This is the very first part of the site that I made, way back when I was thirteen and my life to that point had been lived in a tiny little box. It's very different now, as is the rest of the site. As am I. I'm just a little tangled ball of memories and emotions, really. I used to be all sorted out, but lately I've just let myself get all messy. I don't really mind it. I'm musical, and I'm crafty, and I'm doing all sorts of after-school activities, and I'm seeing my friends. All fun. Lots of my time is spent being confused. It's not because I'm a ditz, I swear. I just miss out on things. People try to make plans with me, and it takes me forever just to figure out what we're going to do. That gets annoying. Horror of horrors, I've got a bossy side. I think I do a pretty good job of hiding that most of the time, but for some reason it just comes right out in Chemathon. I can't even control it. Before I know it I'm yelling at Tim and Ken and pushing them aside so I can control the titration we're doing, or whatever it is. Tim and Ken, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be pushy. Please push back. I love flowers! They're great. Our daffodils are blooming now, and there are hundreds of them. Perfect. I've just been picking them and picking them. I gave one to all the cast members of the musical. I gave bunches of them to Jenn and Ceci. I picked a bunch for myself. Daffodils, daffodils, daffodils. They're so beautiful. I love roses too. If you ever want to win my love, give me roses. Yum. People say I'm pretty, or smart, or that I've got personality, or that I'm a nerd. The truth is I'm bored most of the time and I'm nobody you'd want to be. I'm just like you, maybe, but probably bunches dorkier. I'm proud of that though. Megan said she loved me because I'm a good sort of nerdy. Maybe that's one of the nicest things anyone's said to me.
I got a little off track there. What I meant to say was that I am working towards being a more unique, independent person, and that is a valuable thing. I thought that being goth or something like that would make me unique, but that would just make me goth, so I've gotten off that. I am me. I am creative. I have always done artsy-type things, but my self-expression, if that's what you call it, has changed over time. I used to make jewelry and sew, but that wasn't really personal enough. Now I make music and listen to music, and I draw and I make selfish little webpages like this one. It's much more suitable to the current me. I observe stuff, wherever I can, whenever I can. Every day on the bus to and from school I listen to music and just look out the window, memorizing the way everything looks and how it all works. I'm scared of not being able to see things, all the colors and the movements, when I get older or if something happens to my eyesight. So I store it all up inside me - the clouds in France, deer in my back yard, the trees on the way to school - and I'm safe. I am insecure. I think I do an all right job of hiding it, but sometimes I wonder why I bother. It's just one more front that's covering me up from being myself. But I still worry. I am afraid my hair isn't behaving, or that I'll say something that will make them think I'm some sort of loser. But at the same time I am getting better at letting things bother me less. I say what I mean much more often, and I don't let it bother me when people misunderstand the things I say.
I used to go to boarding school. Some people think I'm a freak for liking it, but if you've never been to one, which I'm pretty sure you haven't, you don't know what you're missing. Boarding school is all the melodrama and everything in a whole life, squished into a little campus. Stuff there is not at all like being at home. It's so much better. Now that I think about it, I'll devote a page to it. Please read more about boarding school, it's the greatest thing. Only now I'm not there any more, which sucks. So I'm trying new things - public school. Music is really important to me. But I've got another part of the webpage for that. Go there. I am an only child. Sort of. I've got two half-sisters and a half-brother(which means we have one of the same parents), but they're all adults. I love them to death, though. And I'm an aunt. I've got three nephews and two nieces. I love them so much. They're my darlings. Especially Rudy and Nat... they're so adorable. Our family is pretty disjointed and dysfunctional, and we aren't one of those families that has reunions every six months. I don't even really know any of my dad's side, and I see my mom's family once every year or two, when one of my cousins is getting married. But my sibs, and my little nieces and nephews, are so important to me. Even though my parents hold me up to them(especially Sarah, who's a year older than me and much more of a model student). My mom tries too hard, with a lot of stuff. I think she feels like she's not a good enough mom, or something. |
