poetry

6/9/03

previously-published poems by other authors

unpublished poems by my friends

"Kick up Dust" (a song)	"Tumble"	"kick"
"When the bell rings"	"If I stay here"	"All I had to do"
"I am from silence"	Various Haiku	"Tu étais"
"Dusk to Dawn"	"This Cluttered Room"	"En Route to Mont Saint-Michel"
"Promenade"	"beaten"	"Dearest"
"I Can Fade Away"	"Writer's Flow"	"Sing So Fine"
"So What"	"Wist"	"I swoop"
"Passenger"	"Citizen"	"Blossom"
"Reflection"	"paranoia"	"The Lonely Rubber Ball Man"
"No Comfort"	"Marseillais"	"A Rose"
"Anticipation"	"Missed Communication"	"Our Love Burst Seams"
"Merry Go Round"	"Rain Checks"	"Much Ado"
"Short Circuit"	"For Deaf Ears"	"The Recovery"
"I'll Never Know	"False"	"The Afterthought"

"Kick up Dust"
(a song)

Get it straight, be a nerd, Better do what you're told. Shut up, don't say one more word, We'll fit you into our mold. You're treading very thin ice... So what? We wanna kick up dust, Try to give life some spice, Break some rules if we must! 'Cause I'm feeling held down, Wanna just mess around, And I know It's worth any price. So we've screwed up before. You think we'll do it again? I'd rather just be a bore Than be hit by a train. We didn't mean any harm... So what? We wanna kick up dust, Use our good looks and charm Break some rules if we must! 'Cause I'm feeling held down, Wanna just mess around, Here we come To pull your alarms. And you think that we're dumb, Asking for what we get, Or uncommonly numb; 'Cause we're not scared by threats. Too bad you don't understand. So what? We wanna kick up dust, Doing something unplanned, Break some rules if we must! 'Cause I'm feeling held down, Wanna just mess around, Let me go! I won't hold your hand...

"Tumble"

I tumble and trip, Light head over heels. Love's subtle grip Has me turning cartwheels.

"kick"

you fight with no belief, just someone else's stick beating at my head; words as big as nothing, intellectual bangles, a cowardly dance, the beliefs of others in your lungs. you love with no belief, social forms fit and mangled; eyes as big as weakness, dented emotion, a warm remorse, the love for others in your arms. you lose for your beliefs, empty spinning down your street; nothing left to spit, collapsed acquaintances, crumpled reflections, the loss of yourself in everyone's ears.

"When the bell rings"

When the bell rings I am the first out the door. I have to rush in order to get there in time: The corner outside the math office Where we pause, smile, and brush by Sharing electricity before moving on To the next class.

"If I stay here"

If I stay here A moment, Could you forget me? I have enough of Your syrup To sleep for a year. What is happening? I used to Fall asleep smiling. Now I Stare all night.

"All I had to do"

All I had to do Was hold my breath and close my eyes, Trust someone else to pull me through And be there on the other side. But I hated it, That one moment between safe places, So I panicked and evaded it, Was left behind in an empty embrace. At first it seemed right - To open my eyes and let go of your hand. I wanted control and my own two eyes' sight: Too cautious, afraid to lose self-command. Here I am, behind, Breath held, eyes closed, and waiting But you've gone on, and I'm confined To doubting my choice, self-berating.

"I am from silence,"

I am from silence,      the space between two      breaths, two heartbeats,      a thought or a touch, that moment      just before sleep. I am from dancing,      the harmony in the beats,      the whirl and swish of      life spinning by,      noisy and satisfying. I am from belief,      seen at the edge of vision      and felt with the whole heart,      heard fleetingly as a child      but never forgotten.

Haiku
Written late at night in France:

Speaking French can suck. But when I speak, they don't get It. So I mock them. Meals in France are huge. The people are all skinny. So how does that work?? Music makes me glad. So does night time, and talking. But not my roommate. I am a klutz. Once I was hit with a cookie. I got a black eye.

"The Last Word"

"I get the last word Every time," you said, and Ran out of the room.

"Nose"

I think there's a scar In my nose. But I can't tell, 'Cause it's dark in there.

"Baltimore Day"

What is more perfect Than food-court sushi with friends On a day with rain?

"Tu étais mon ange"
hmm... my French is flawed. pardon.

Tu étais mon ange, et moi, bénite. Je n'avais rien à dire Mais je souriais assez. Est-ce que je t'ai brisé le coeur? Le coeur a du ressort; Peut-être c'est long Mais il se soigne finalement. Et moi, quand finalement j'ai trop à dire, Je n'ai personne comme ange. Mais j'ai un coeur entier; Je ne suis plus blessée.

"Dusk to Dawn"

After comforting light has gone, And, coming on, the dark draws close, The merry flowers nod their heads And down in beds of heather doze. The timid rabbit in humble hole Avoids the cold air seeping in. High above, the nightingale With song regales Moon's lifting chin. And lo, from out of shadows creep Those who sleep the days away: The fox and wolf and bearded owl Who quietly prowl in search of prey. Now slowly darkness fades to light So, milky-white, the moon departs. In a final glow she smiles her last, And, too fast, the new day starts. The flowers now wear crowns of dew As all anew this day is born. The merry lark heralds the sun, And one by one, all greet the morn.

"This Cluttered Room"

This cluttered room at which I stare, My haven during deep despair, Is the void for all my hope: My lonely comfort, my whole world's scope. Eight lights save me from my mind, Bright enough to keep me blind. The door and windows are shut tight: Cold is cast out, as well as night. A thousand feelings fill the shelves, All mixed up among themselves. The walls are covered with my dreams: An abstract patchwork without seams. The desk is messy, strewn with thoughts: Some crisp, some crumpled, come to naught. Its drawers are filled with perfect piles Of old ideals and forgotten smiles. With my flaws and strengths I'll make my bed, Tuck in amongst the things I've said. I'll drift to sleep secure and whole Between these walls that house my soul.

"The clouds freeze for me"

The clouds freeze for me, Resting between steps In their dance around the world So I can memorize them: With forehead pressed against a cold bus window And eyes upturned, I file them away. We speed by impermanent fields, towns, lives; Above, the spun-sugar clouds pause. I have them now, in a photograph that only I see, But which is mimicked in many other minds: Variations on my theme.

"trampled"

take this trust put it on like a coat and wear it while it's fashionable. use it up, test its strength be glad of its warmth but always cast it off for something (new) in the colors of the next season. fair weather lets you forget the storms but this coat, this trust, though out of style, will be all that you are wishing for when the sun leaves you as, while it shone, you left me.

"Dearest"
this one might disappear, seeing how this site is parent-censored...

I'm not pulling anything That you shouldn't expect - When I hit you in the face We'll talk about respect. It's parental responsibility To keep your daughter square. Where in all your self-help books Does it tell you not to care? Stuff me with 'natural remedies' Till all my tears are spilt; Obsess over all that's wrong inside, Cure me with this guilt. I'll walk your straight line if you'll stop Dragging me through the dirt. Until then I'll lean on my friends; They're all I've got that doesn't hurt.

"I Can Fade Away"

This is all my mistake I never meant to intrude It's just hard to be the new girl. I'll leave you now If you'll just point me towards A happier place. All I ever wanted were Thin delicate hands And some way to whirl away From this town and all that's wrong. I can handle this one last rejection, Fade away into your background Till I'm vapor on your breath. You'll be with me always As a lesson to be careful, And to trust my actions less.

"Writer's Flow"

Frustrated Pull my hair Pull my finger Anything to pop a hole And let these words out. I've got things to say Jumping jacks on my bedroom floor Incense in a mouth-shaped burner Choking me, stroking me, Pushing it all down against my diaphragm. I can heal me, I can be a rock star Let it out Breathe it all out Wait for it to condense And catch the droplets on my tongue.

"Sing So Fine"

We'll never have a band; Each of us is too greedy For the microphone. I'll step back and let you shine 'Cause you were always better than me anyway (You sing so fine) But I know I've got things to hear Out of my own mouth And one day it'll come to you When these dreams of fame are tired, That all the time I had you figured out.

"So What"
It might not be so prudent to post this, but um...

You unbelievable drama queen Hold a collapsible knife to your heart And wait for our reaction. You pseudo-literary drama queen Open capillaries just for show And draw letters in your skin 'Cause it's 'the latest thing.' You irresponsible drama queen Can write drafts of your suicide note And lay out in the cold for all we care, Because we know you couldn't do it, That you'll always wake up from your dreams. You selfish, naïve, little girl - Your kingdom is built on breath.

"Wist"

Sitting here with the phone, (imagining) I need nothing more than for it to ring And connect his voice to mine Via circuits and air waves - Electric is our contact - Just close enough. Not my intentions, but my NEED Would scare him away. He won't call. He doesn't have my number, But a girl can dream Of sitting cross-legged next to a beautiful boy, Anxious to talk about something deep, Even though all I've got is pictures of him That I snuck, knowing I'd never see him again (Because he doesn't need me) And all I need is that hopeful moment Between the ring and his "hello?"

"I swoop"

I swoop I soar I glide, and what's more My wings are strong I can fly! I can't go wrong Up in the sky, For the sky's my limit And I'll soar in it Forever, until I die.

"Promenade"

Tonight I am a lavender dream Safe inside an acetate cloud. I am skimming the floor, Glowing in slow-mo Leaving lime lip prints On the rim of your glass. Three layers, Strung pearls, And two perfect slippers Distance me far from all these other princesses. Tonight, I am an enticing dream Whirling away with a whisper and smile. I am lost far away, Flirting with vanity, Trailing soft perfume For you can follow. Four hours, Six dances, And two perfect moments Bear me away like a pumpkin, turned carriage.

"Passenger"

Boy Driving down the street Why isn't there a girl In your passenger seat? Did she disappear One night in the dark, Just floated away In pursuit of a lark? Is she far away Sight-seeing abroad, Leaving big tips And visiting spas? Or was she not right, Too loud for your taste? Did she say unkind things, And was it a waste? Just unlock your door And I'll climb right in. Turn up the music And pass me a grin. We'll drive towards the sun With windows rolled down; We'll laugh, just because, As we roll out of town.

"Citizen"

Brace face Downhill chase Mottled, throttled, Bottled mace. Four door Spend some more Packing, cracking, Backing war. Stun gun Come undone Grounded, pounded, Hounded, run.

"Blossom"

Beat this First kiss Near miss Pure bliss Lips touch Hands clutch Some such So much

"Reflection"
(an assignment for Creative Writing)

You have: Lived on Fifth Avenue, Summered in upstate New York, Graduated from a good college, Motorbiked down the west coast, Traveled Europe, Owned an airplane, Pioneered in computer programming, Worked at the Pentagon, Helped the blind, Started a company, Patented your own inventions, Been an elected official, Earned a living, Raised four children, Learned how to see situations objectively and fairly, Saved up a lot of good stories, And become a father worthy of respect. I have: My life ahead of me to try to make you proud.

"paranoia"
(an assignment for Creative Writing)

turning gears circling fears converge, attack, careen, bounce back. subconscious bubbling turns our heads unraveling strands of sanity's thread. beyond okay, where touch-senses tingle, our tensions fray, our diseases mingle.

"The Lonely Rubber Ball Man"
(an assignment for Creative Writing - poem is based on a picture. I'm afraid that without the picture it might not make any sense... come to think of it, it might not even make any sense with the picture...)

The lonely rubber ball man Trudges tiredly towards the boardwalk Trying to tempt tots to take a rubber ball. Children shriek around him, and the ocean grumbles in time with a distant ghetto blaster. His balls go 'pang' as they bounce on his back. A mother gives him a look. The rubber balls on his back are like goiters, ugly and bulging. Doesn't he know this is a beach? Rubber balls don't bounce on sand. We want a beach ball. "Buy my balls," he cries. But we want a beach ball. We want a beach ball. He is Atlas, carrying a burden of which no one will relieve him. The spattered yellow and pea-green balls are huge jawbreakers, Too sweet for this heat. Poor lonely rubber ball man. Outcast.

"No Comfort"

...and just like that it's over, fading like a jet trail, leaving me to wonder what had even begun. now that I've grown these wings, I can't help wanting to fly; now that I've seen the sky, the earth holds no more comfort.

"Marseillais"

"Comment ca va?" You know I'm feeling pretty good, chérie. "Mais tu t'amuses pas?" Oh, no, it's just the heat that's getting me. I'm not thinking how you called me cute, "Tes joues, comme elles sont belles!" Or how you liked my bathing suit. "Jolie, tu m'ensorcèles." "Tu penses a quoi?" Just how you've got a girlfriend, dear. "J'ai rêvé de toi." Nice touch, you're making things more painful here. Just fly away, I'm tired of this, "Je t'aime bien... je t'adore!" Would it be too much, just one small kiss? "J'ai une copine, qui j'aime très fort."

"A Rose"

I don't even know if he was talking to me But I did see him first And I'd like to think the rose was meant for me (We'll just forget the part where he said, "Take it, or I'll throw it away.")

"Anticipation"

sparkling awareness - I enter a room and you're not supposed to be here. Anticipation, you said, But when I'm with you I don't bother. It's when I'm alone,      (lying in the dark)      (emerging from my dreams) That I feel this delicious anguish Pulling at my eyelashes, my knuckles, The little pieces I can't hold onto. They've all flown away, hidden under your pillow, in your back pocket, So it is only with you that I am easy, When these little gifts you unknowingly accepted, my little nuts and bolts, come together.      No, I anticipate nothing - I know what I can expect when we touch. ...but I can't help hoping... Maybe I'll reach into your back pocket, Catch you offguard, And find a little of your own lint left behind Tangled up in my mutinous nerve endings: Something you won't miss until it's gone. Maybe I'll put it in my own back pocket - take it with me - So you can taste a little Separation Anticipation.

"Missed Communication"

Cutting are the words you fling, Boiling quick's your fuse. I don't like the songs you sing; Spare me your abuse. Laughing, go, just walk away. Skip the fake 'hello's. I'll not laugh with you today - Our golden days have yellowed. To you this all might seem but play, But I can say it's not. Where you can shrug the flames away, I still feel them hot.

"Our Love Burst Seams"

Our love rattled bird-picked bones And haunted fevered dreams. It ripped through ears in piercing tones. Our love burst seams. Our love pricked and drew hot blood. It buffeted and slammed. It lived for storms and rode the flood. Our love broke dams. Our love ambushed in the dark And battered down the door - An inferno if it sparked - Our love was war. Our love punctured, tore, and hurt, It thrived upon my tears, But when my life was smeared with dirt, Our love ran clear.

"Merry Go Round"

Frankie and I got it really bad We live on a merry go round When I want him he can't be had But when I've got someone, he comes around And we live too fast My control, it slips away again We'll never be much more than friends But I hide hope that in the end Frankie will be my boyfriend At last. Yesterday he showed up at my work Attached to a girl I don't know. His eyes are bluer when he's a jerk; His smile is brighter when he turns to go. And we live too fast My control, it slips away again We'll never be much more than friends But I hide hope that in the end Frankie will be my boyfriend At last.

"Rain Checks"

I'm sitting here on the edge of Thursday Leaning out, ready to tumble into Friday I don't need sleep I'm thinking of drives through the dark And hesitant good nights I left without a kiss But got a rain check So I played it cool And if I've made it to Thursday, Pushing at the pillowed walls Of this box I've built, I might as well hold on For one more day Of disappointment.

"Much Ado"

These eyes are the same But they're seeing new faces Or recognizing new dynamics. I'm returning to myself As to a childhood haunt Where my finger can't find the changes They must be in me I must be all new Hiding behind these old eyes Breathing someone else's air. The words are still the same refrain But now I'm singing on my own.

"Short Circuit"

Somewhere our wires crossed But the sparks were short-lived Somewhere our stars crossed And I'm still fighting the glare Somewhere our signals crossed - I am still righting all the things we broke. But I've still got this tether, I am still pulsing sonar Stretching out fingers Groping for tenderness Clinging to what wreckage I can But I'm coming up empty All your insensitivities I'm lost among them Less than empty There's no warmth in echoes No point in remaining Trying to find my way by extinguished stars When new constellations await.

"For Deaf Ears"

Back seat romance: Penny for a second glance. We've squandered our most precious pearl Gambled on a boy or girl. What have we when we are forfeit? Is our stolen moment worth it? In lifelong vows we'll find no solace - Our empty hands can hold no promise. So give away what's yours to treasure, Lose yourself in moonlight pleasure, But be forewarned - when these bonds break, You'll ache for what you let lust take.

"The Recovery"

This is the part we call The recovery - I'm collecting myself like a spilled armload of books, Stuffing all of my energies in a sturdy bag Zippered shut. You can say these memories are easier to bear on my back But I want them in my arms Where I'll keep them warm And we'll be ready For another spill -

"I'll Never Know"

The girls trip by with boys in tow - They giggle as they pass me by. What those boys see, I'll never know. Such false attraction makes me cry. The girl with freely-swinging hips, The latest curly blonde hairstyle, A tiny skirt, and painted lips - Somehow, to me, is not worthwhile. Smart girls offer less complaint Than Barbie dolls right off the shelf - What ought to count is some restraint Or maybe a strong sense of self. So be a man, boy - no more swerving - Choose a girl who's more deserving. After all, what could be sweeter Than my little verse and meter?

"False"

"Forever" is a word that means: "I'll keep you 'till I've had enough." I've grappled with this shit so long, 'Forever' hardly measures up. "She's so upset, it's killing me:" Such interest, and such concern, But not for she whose ring he wears - Fidelity's too hard to learn. I bled myself; I dressed it up; Set up my hopes to be destroyed. Forgive the tears I can't control - I banked too much on one false boy.

"The Afterthought"

I woke up wide awake today I'd dreamed the things I've meant to say Forget the smiles I try to fake Forget the painful games we play I've had enough to last forever My senses almost severed It's time to act, before I waste away I'll be an afterthought Wedged between the pages A lesson you wish you'd forgot Played out on darkened stages. So let me know if you're still there Or whether you're too gone to care. My memories won't let me be; I'm hounded by the time we shared. I've tried to force myself to let go; I can't forget just yet, though. I'm still breathing you in the air.